I just realized how much I love what I do. I mean, the fact that I was unable to play the Finale of Stravinsky's Firebird Suite tonight because my embouchure was screwed up from a cheesy grin goes to show exactly how much I am seriously in love with performing music. To represent a composer's ideas for him, to present his passions to an audience, to have that sort of responsibility to portray exactly what he wanted to portray to a crowd is simply intoxicating.

Sigh. I will be here someday.